Dad, let's play Smackface.
These were the last meaningful words between the Boy and I last night. My plea for clarification warranted no verbal answer, apparently. Looking back, I suppose I walked right into it. As The Parent, it was really my fault that his lip was bleeding after he abruptly headbutted my chest.
I know what you were thinking. That Smackface would perhaps be a board game, right?
Although, you probably thought that maybe he had reached up and smacked my face. I bet you would've never guessed that Smackface means he was planning on Smacking his own Face into my unsuspecting chest as he stood on his bed. Sometimes I just don't understand how his little genius works. I said nothing to him after he reeled backwards, but my eyes, I'm sure, said What the H Were You Thinking?? After we finished icing his lip in silence, he went to bed, likely thinking the same thing.
Other than his baffling act of self-punishment, it has been a rather uneventful January week. I blame the weather. I heard somewhere - probably the 4 minutes of local news I caught between cartoon viewings - that, according to Science, yesterday the 17th was the saddest day of the entire 2011 calendar year. There are apparently highly educated scientists that got paid to figure this out - a combination of coldness and heighth of the sun in the sky and length of day and distance from Christmas, all culminating in a perfect storm called "the third Monday of January really sucks." Not even kidding. There actually exists research that says the 16th is kind of sad, but nothing compared to the forlorn wasteland known as the 17th. And today, the 18th? Well, according to Science, we're all starting to feel approximately 24 hours better about life. I suppose. That's good. Hooray.
Thank you, Science.
It needs to be said that the study proclaims June 17th the happiest day of the year. Seeing as that is close to Father's Day and also my wedding anniversary, I'm pretty sure I'm obligated to agree.
And thus goes winter for the Boy and his family. If anyone has other ideas for fun (and dirt cheap) things to do this time of year that don't involve parkas (or bleeding), I'm all ears.
Parenting tip: Don't play games called Smackface. Or Punchgut or Kickshin or Burnhouse or Throwknife or Windowsmash or any other combination of violence and sharpness for that matter. 5 year old boys will want to try it. Just don't do it. You'll end up playing Doctor next. I'm positive there's a research study that explains why if you don't believe me.