Thursday, November 18, 2010

When in doubt, add crushers.

It's universal that small boys want their dads to draw them pictures.  Dad, draw me a rocket.  Dad, make me a racecar.  A spaceship, a horse, a fire engine, a rainbow.  A house, a police car, a train, a face.  Flowers, cake, bugs, or robot.  All very normal.  And drawable.  The Boy (tm) proves to me daily how unusual his mind works. 

He brought me the blue pen and the yellow legal pad.  His first question was "Dad, is it okay to draw on yellow paper?"  Once that was greenlighted, the request begins...

Can you draw me something that I want?

Sure.  What do you want?

I don't know.

How do I draw something for you if you can't tell me what it is?

Can you guess?

Um.  Ok.  A spaceship?


A horse?

No.  Not a horse.

A fire engine?


(see list above for my ideas...all unsuccessful)

I give up.  Do you know what you want me to draw?


(long pause)

Well, what is it?

I want you to draw me a sunflower seed factory.

A sunflower seed factory?


I don't know what they look like.

I do.

You do?


Then you draw it.

No, I want you to draw it, Dad.

But I don't know what it looks like.  What does it look like?

It looks like a factory where they make sunflower seeds.

Thanks for clearing that up.


Nothing.  Sigh, ok here goes...

I proceeded to make my best guess as to how a sunflower seed factory looks.  He was content to watch me masterfully construct the outside of the factory.  (I drew a rectangle).  He even approved of the small conveyor belt I worked up next. (I drew a line through the middle of the rectangle).  From there, my pen could not compete with his vision of a sunflower seed factory...

Dad, you're not doing it right.

I'm not?


What's wrong with it?

It needs more funnels.


Yes, funnels.

What are the funnels for?

To drop the sunflower seeds in after they're done baking in the oven.

Ah. Ok.   (drew a triangle under the line, slanted towards the bottom of the rectangle).  Like that?

Kinda like that.

Do you know what this factory should look like?

I told you that already, Dad.  Yes I do.

Why don't you draw the rest?

I want you to.

But I'm not doing it right.

Please finish.

It IS finished.  This is the factory, and the conveyor belt, and now the funnel.  It's minimalist.

What are these? (pointing at some swirly lines and confetti looking shapes I had doodled in the rectangle)

Those are.....embellishments.

'Em-blish-mens'?  What do they do?

Embellishments.  They make the factory look better, more believable.  They embellish. 

No, what do they do to the sunflower seeds?

Oh, that.  What do you want them to do?

Crush them.

Crush the seeds?

Yes, crush them so they fit through the funnel.

Ok, that's settled.  They are crusher embellishments. 

Cool!  I love crusher ambush-mens!  Thanks dad, it's beautiful! (runs off with his masterpiece to show Mom)

You are Most Welcome.

Parenting tip:  No matter what an (almost) 5 year old boy wants you to draw, add crushers.  You become the hero faster, and can go back to your paused TV show sooner.  Of course, you'll be wondering how to add crushers to a horse.

1 comment:

  1. I tried to post a comment earlier. don't know that it worked. All in all, the folks I work with would love to know he is thinking of crushers. we have whole plants dedicated to crushing seeds/beans/corn/wheat/etc. he will fit in nicely. :)